Never Negotiate with a (Future) Lawyer

I wrote this in my journal on August 5th.  Not quite retro enough for my other blog, but i thought it was worth sharing here...

Funny exchange between Emily & Caroline just now.  They both have summer reading assignments -- Caroline gets Hamilton's Mythology & All Quiet on the Western Front, while Emily has to read a dozen titles -- and they are both lagging with just 10 days to go.   So, after dinner (Julie made yummy fajitas with home-made salsa and sangria), as they made their way upstairs, Caroline proposed a deal.  They would have a contest to see who finished their booklists first.  Emily immediately protested "no fair, i have to read 12 books & you've only got one."

Caroline countered “yes, but it’s like 300 pages”

“Let me see it”

“Look how thick it is.  300 thick pages.”

“Thick pages make it easier, not harder.”

 

You’d think the 15-year-old would have the clear advantage in this negotiation, but Emily’s stubbornness & cleverness hold up to Caroline’s experience & sweetness.  Caroline offers the terms – “if you finish first… [her pause is not for effect; she’s making this up on the fly.] you get to sleep in my room for a week.  No, a month.  And i’ll give you $20, no $10.”

“No, you said $20!”

Ten

Fifteen

Ten

Eleven

 

Stalemate.  Emily’s not buying it.  Caroline doesn’t want to lose a hooked fish, even if it’s her sister, so she searches for an alternative.  “Ok, how about you sleep in my room for a week & $15”

‘How ‘bout a week & $20?”

“Grrrrr!”

 

The teen-ager re-tacts.  “Ok, what do i get if i win?”  I chime in, “you get to sleep in Emily’s room.”  I get the teenage eyeroll.  And the 3rd-graders chuckle.  Emily ponders.  “You get to read my books.”

A laughing “no” from Caroline.  “I know… you don’t bother me with my friends for a month.”

Apparently, this seals the deal & both retreat to their room to get a head-start on the other.  

 

It’s humbling to learn that you are, at best, the 2nd best negotiator in the family.

 

Postscript: Emily surged ahead in the first few days, and everyone said that she would win easily, and that Caroline made a bad deal (it somehow ended up back at the original terms of a month & $20).  So Emily told Caroline that she would stop reading for a few days to let her catch up.  Caroline's tortoise then beat Emily's hare, which was probably best for all involved.