Remember that Mastercard commercial with Brett Favre, taking a Monday morning stroll through a small town?
A father is wiping chocolate ice cream off a child's white sweater. Favre says, "I would have gone vanilla with that sweater."
Workmen are gathered around a geyser of water shooting up from an excavation. Favre: "I'd have looked out for the water main. But that's just me."
A shopper is carrying a bag of groceries. The bottom of the bag tears open, spilling the contents all over the sidewalk. Favre: "I'd have double-bagged it."
That's what i think of when i hear John Kerry talking about the Iraq war. And Kerry's Monday Morning Quarterbacking was on full display at this week's first Presidential Debate. These quotes are taken just from the very first question:
"We're now 90 percent of the casualties in Iraq and 90 percent of the costs. I think that's wrong, and I think we can do better."
"I have a better plan for homeland security. I have a better plan to be able to fight the war on terror."
"We can do a better job of training the Iraqi forces to defend themselves, and I know that we can do a better job of preparing for elections."
It's all so disingenuous, when Kerry himself supported the war to begin with and voted, along with 76 other Senators, to give the President the authority to engage troops in this endeavor. In the Democratic primaries, Kerry positioned himself to the right of the leading contender at the time, Howard Dean, and as the pro-war choice. Once he gained the nomination, he was all of a sudden against the war.
It's the worst sort of coulda, woulda, shoulda.
In the debate, Kerry told us to check out his plan on his website. So i did. Here's his brilliant (sarcasm) plan, along with my commentary:
1. Strengthen the military -- Mm, ok. Does anyone really believe that a Dem administration is going to make the military stronger that it is or would be under the GOP?
2. Deny mass-terror weapons to the terrorists
3. Cut off terrorist finances -- I can't, for the life of me, figure out why Bush didn't think of these last 2 already.
4. Make homeland security a priority -- Uh, didn't Bush elevate Homeland Security to a cabinet post? This makes 4 absurd points out of 4.
5. "Launch a strategy to win the war of ideas to prevent terrorists from poisoning more minds" -- I had to quote this one directly, because i have absolutely no idea what it is supposed to mean.
6. Promote democracy and freedom throughout the Muslim world -- Am i mistakenly reading from the Bush-Cheney website? Here's one quote on this point: "America will be clear with repressive governments in the region that we expect to see them change, not just for our sake but for their own survival." Isn't that what we're already doing in Iraq?
7. Build strong alliances -- or, as he repeatedly put it in the debates, hold a summit. Yippee, a summit! More blowhards talking.